Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
