so that wasnt chicken after all
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
