Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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