this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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