He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
