So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I pour the whiskey from now on
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
