Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
ok first of all what the fuck
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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