I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
