i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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