i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
