the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize