Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
