I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
