My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
