I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
