It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
