How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
