She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
