my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
