This is not my ceiling
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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