just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
