Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
