I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
