"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
as a side note pls kill me
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
