I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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