im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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