theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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