i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
