I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
