some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
