so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
