we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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