lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
