There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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