can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
