Grow some girl-balls and come out already
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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