There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
