i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
