My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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