I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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