hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
it was like eating out sand paper
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
