omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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