for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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