i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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