You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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