I murdered the dance floor call the cops
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
