i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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