he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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