Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
