Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
